A B A T T O I R . N E T - Any-ping else is useless...

News, rants, verbal assaults from the past...
	07-05

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All opinions expressed herein are those of the author. MARCH 2001 MINUTES ARCHIVE

08:45pm Mon Mar 26, 2001

Seems the weekend was so great, it took till just now before I was able to do an update! <GriN!> This weekend past I was thrown a very surprise, surprise birthday party... Apparently Isis had been planned (...scheming...) this since before Christmas. Creach called me Wednesday afternoon and asked if I "have plans for this Friday", I said no and he said "you do now! We're taking you out for your birthday, just me and LoneFart." Now you can just imagine what's going through my mind at this point... They picked me up after work, we had a bite to eat, then it was off in his car with yours truly sporting a lovely blind-fold. They told me to get comfortable, because our secret destination was about 45 minutes away. They then proceeded to attempt to throw off my internal compass (...and succeeded...) By driving all over hells half acre before they finally stopped and escorted me from the van still blinded. Now, the last thing I wanted was to have the blind-fold whipped off and find myself in the Champagne Room at some strip club (...well, it would have been Okay I guess!..) and at this point I was convinced we were somewhere in Oshawa or something... The blind-fold was pulled off and WhaM! I was standing in my own home with God knows how many of my friends around me, many I've not seen in some time! It was a little overwhelming to say the least... The feast laid out in LAN Central downstairs was enough to feed a small country (...or at least Rosie O'Donnell for a couple sittings...) Talk about overkill.

I can't thank everyone who came out enough, it was very touching and very much a complete surprise... You definitely got me on this one! A big thanks to everyone who chipped in on the "Abattoir.Net 69" Official Leaf's Jersey, I'll wear it with great pride! Now that all my 3D equipment's about to show up any day now (...wait for it!..) I've decided to enter a little 3D into the Abattoir! (...yes, we've gone into yet another dimension at the Abattoir...) So get out your RedBlue glasses and click (...from this point on...) on any image you see the 3D tag on it for an eye popping view! (...yeah, I know... Get a life!..) If you don't actually have a pair of stereoscopic glasses (...GasP! Say it isn't so!..) then just head over to www.ddd.com and they'll mail you a pair no charge!

02:45pm Sun Mar 18, 2001

Please take a moment and welcome to the Abattoir family a brand new addition! It's our newborn Chameleon "Hasmed"... We were going to call him "BitchNheat" due to the similarities with respect to eyes, but even at his most intense concentration when playing Quake, I've yet to see David Grima moves his eyes in opposing directions so we decided to call him "Hasmed" since he is a Chamaeleon and changes his colours as often as Mike Steel changes his friggin' play name! Isis decided to grab him as a birthday present for me (...but I think it's really for her...). He's very affectionate, he loves to climb into your hair and with enough love and training, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to teach him how to turn Plad.

Looks like the season's changing and with that begins the spring cleaning... The kitchen's first and we'll move from there, by BTM24 "Two-Four" Edition, we should be in a great shape. The next Leaf's game is Tuesday against the Sabres, come on out, watch the game, eat some food and let a Chameleon climb on your head. (...now there's an offer few can refuse!..)

08:56pm Mon Mar 12, 2001

Don't you just love a sale!? Well it's been just over two weeks since our last update, and I guess we're certainly due! This past weekend's been fun around the Abattoir... Creach, CorpsE, Isis and myself headed out early Saturday morning to down-downtown Toronto harbour for (...and I quote...) the "Mother of all Leaf's Sales" — A warehouse direct sale of "everything Leaf's" at up to 75% off!! My God, who could resist! What fortunes await us at this "inside" sale? Perhaps I could pick up another Maple Leaf's Garden Seat for a fraction the cost!? I'm going to pick-up two Leaf's Jerseys for every player on the team, both home and away! I just can't wait! But wait we did... The line-up was around the corner and six feet thick. We stood outside for the short part of two hours debating and dreaming of the goodies untold inside, you could cut the tension with a knife... We almost blew out our cell phone batteries calling friends asking what they'd like us to pick-up on their behalf. After what seemed like a life time, we were allowed in... Our turn to rape and pillage had arrived and we burst in, credit cards in hand... I even had two in case I blew out the magnetic strip on one during the frenzy. All I can say is this piece of shit rivalled the "Toronto Auto Show" in the disappointment category. A very quick cruise of the "offerings" revealed nothing to buy unless you were a midget (...not that there's anything wrong with that...). All articles of any "worth" were infant sized. Absolute, bugger, "F", all to buy. *Pzzt!*

Off to the Hockey Hall of Fame then! As it turns out, none of us had been so since we were there... A walk up the street, an outstanding Street Vendor Hotdog and we're standing at the pearly gates! Creach did a sneak attack on picking up the tab and we were in. An interesting venue to say the least (...especially if you enjoy looking at 3,456,431 jerseys sealed in bullet-proof glass...) One area had TSN Video Booths where you could record a report "live" from the TSN set (...superimposed behind you...) Three seconds on one of those terminals and I crashed the system! (...Is there no end to what I can break?..)

On the bright side, the evening ended with nine or ten of us watching the Leaf's tie up a great game *Pzzt!*

There he was... Gone... More to come? Now it's Sunday morning and take a flying leap at who calls? LoneFart! He came good on his promise to take Isis and myself snowmobiling (...caught us off guard!..) He was over in a flash with two sleds and off we headed to Lake Simcoe for some fast snow action. It was my first time running a sled since before I could remember and it was nothing shy of eventful. I was running LoneFart's machine while he and Isis ripped across the lake on another... Yes, it was fun! Isis was chomping at the bit to drive a sled, so I hopped on with LoneFart and she went solo on his machine. LoneFart and I stopped for a smoke and to take care of "duties" as only men could in the wild (...yes, we hadda' pee, geez!..) while Isis continued to riffle up and down the lake in front of us. As any of your sled-monkeys out there would know, there are certain dangers in running a lake, a major one being pressure cracks or Ice fissures (...where the ice heaves into itself like two cold tectonic plates creating a "fold", or in more basic terms, a brick wall made of ice...) There was a major one directly in front of us about 400 feet long. We soaked in the frozen nature and enjoyed a smoke while watching Isis tear up and down the lake with total disregard for her own well-being. Sure enough, on the second pass I turned to LoneFart and asked, "She does know that's out there doesn't she? I mean, we've passed it twice..." Apparently not. Isis headed back towards us full throttle on Stu's Bombardier oblivious of the upcoming impedance to horizontal movement. WhaM! And off she went like the Challenger... I think I rated the ensuing fall, tumbled, stagger, roll, tumble, flip, flop, bounce, skid at about a 7.5 (...both graceful and fluid in movement...) The only thing hurt was her pride and her arse among other parts of her body. I believe her arriving comments after reboarding her ride and pulling into shore to join us was "Wow! That was fun, now my adrenaline's really pumping!" (...note to self: Take out insurance policy...) As we relived the moment, it took no longer than one short minute before it would be out done (...and in a big way...) Two yahoo's riding at over 120kph across the lake blurred past us right toward the fissure... One made it, the other, well... Didn't. This poor bastard slammed into the ice wall/ramp with such speed it sent him into another area code via air mail. We had our resting sleds started and headed out to him full throttle before he had even finished bouncing... He was appreciative we came, but luckily the only thing twisted in an unnatural position was his front ski. Talk about lucky. Ahh... Winter fun!

So... What does all this have to do with Multiplayer games? Read the first letter of the above four paragraphs! Damned, and I though you Abattoir readers were sharp! DOOM!! Yes, if you've not seen the Tech Demo, grab it here! (...Okay, that was a lame way to segue, but hey!..) Not to mention the massive Tech Demo of the upcoming UnReal Tournament II! Take a peek. Hope you're pocket book's thick, cuz we're all going to need some major hardware soon when these puppies make their debut at the BTM!

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